Introductions and Time Out - The Book-keepers Forum (UK)

Shamus · Shamus

http://www.book-keepers.org.uk/t62264820/site-ethics/

Diamond8 · Diamond8

Hello just a quick intro I have been lurking on this site for some time now and picked up some useful info, so thought it was about time to actually join and perhaps contribute a bit when able. I am a member of ICB and run a small part-time practice doing bookkeeping etc for several clients. Also am employe...

Leger · Leger

Sorry, it's been a while since we last had one, time just seems to fly sometimes. I've added a few more this week to make up for it's absence. Apologies for the formatting, I tried to edit it but it didn't change. ----------------------- I've just told my wife that our neighbour has died. She said "W...

Leger · Leger

A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top. The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold tha...

Leger · Leger

A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner. Ok I want to buy a pet, but I dont want a boring or normal pet no cats, dogs, or birds I want something different. The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede. Really?, the main replied, How much? The owner informs him that the talking centi...

Leger · Leger

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heav...

proteamcleaning · proteamcleaning

<<REMOVED>>

Leger · Leger

Sorry it's a little late this week --An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out ar...

Leger · Leger

I phoned my boss on his mobile number this morning and said, "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now.""What?" he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's 5 o' clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?""Im doing what you told me," I replied. "You're the one who told me to be in Brighton ear...

Leger · Leger

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointin...

Leger · Leger

After a two week hiatus, it's back. Sorry, got bogged down with tax returns. Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them get...

JenHen · JenHen

Hello! New here! I've just applied for my Money Laundering Supervision with HMRC. I have 3 businesses waiting for me to be registered to take over doing their books. I'm familiar with 2 of them having been employed previously by them. I have always done accounts for small/medium businesses sin...

Leger · Leger

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replie...

Leger · Leger

I was at the checkout at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one thing on the conveyer belt... A box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "looks like we've both bought so...

Leger · Leger

Hurrah, into a new year that just has to be better than the last one, doesn't it. Anyway, I shall keep the weekend fun going as long as I can, but will apologise in advance if I repeat any that I've previously posted. Breaking Sky News - A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left his entire £12 million for...

Leger · Leger

It's been a funny old year, and I don't think any of us knew this time last year that 2020 would be plighted by the Covid virus. Hopefully next year will start to see a return to some sort of normality. I wish all of you a lovely Christmas, and are able to make the most of it despite the restrictions.

Leger · Leger

Hi Folks, sorry it's been a while. My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opene...

Amanda · Amanda

HI All, Where is the Friday fun then, even though I read them late I really enjoyed reading them! Come on John please post some more. They brightened up my day during these mad times!

Osama79 · Osama79

This is the only accounting forum i have found online with some activity . The rest of the accounting forums looks like dead forums . Thanks

Leger · Leger

I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: Before Posting (closed) (Preview) http://www.book-keepers.org.uk/t62264820/site-ethics/	Shamus	0	5569	Sat Jun 11 15:06 2016 by Shamus
	Hello (Preview) Hello just a quick intro I have been lurking on this site for some time now and picked up some useful info, so thought it was about time to actually join and perhaps contribute a bit when able. I am a member of ICB and run a small part-time practice doing bookkeeping etc for several clients. Also am employe...	Diamond8	3	127	Wed May 12 22:17 2021 by Diamond8
	Weekend Fun 09.05.21 (Preview) Sorry, it's been a while since we last had one, time just seems to fly sometimes. I've added a few more this week to make up for it's absence. Apologies for the formatting, I tried to edit it but it didn't change. ----------------------- I've just told my wife that our neighbour has died. She said "W...	Leger	5	170	Tue May 11 22:53 2021 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 20.3.21 (Preview) A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top. The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold tha...	Leger	3	723	Sun Apr 4 13:49 2021 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 29.03.2021 (Preview) A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner. Ok I want to buy a pet, but I dont want a boring or normal pet no cats, dogs, or birds I want something different. The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede. Really?, the main replied, How much? The owner informs him that the talking centi...	Leger	2	322	Thu Apr 1 21:51 2021 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 7.3.21 (Preview) Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heav...	Leger	2	359	Mon Mar 8 19:30 2021 by Artois
	Commercial Cleaning Ashford (Preview) <<REMOVED>>	proteamcleaning	2	390	Thu Mar 4 18:46 2021 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 28.2.21 (Preview) Sorry it's a little late this week --An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out ar...	Leger	4	422	Thu Mar 4 09:30 2021 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 20.1.21 (Preview) I phoned my boss on his mobile number this morning and said, "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now.""What?" he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's 5 o' clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?""Im doing what you told me," I replied. "You're the one who told me to be in Brighton ear...	Leger	3	415	Mon Feb 22 15:46 2021 by Artois
	Weekend fun 14.2.21 (Preview) A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointin...	Leger	3	468	Tue Feb 16 14:39 2021 by Leger
	Weekend fun 6.2.21 (Preview) After a two week hiatus, it's back. Sorry, got bogged down with tax returns. Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them get...	Leger	1	407	Mon Feb 8 11:48 2021 by Artois
	Hello! (Preview) Hello! New here! I've just applied for my Money Laundering Supervision with HMRC. I have 3 businesses waiting for me to be registered to take over doing their books. I'm familiar with 2 of them having been employed previously by them. I have always done accounts for small/medium businesses sin...	JenHen	18	1209	Tue Feb 2 13:27 2021 by Maat
	Weekend Fun 16.1.20 (Preview) An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replie...	Leger	3	524	Tue Jan 19 12:44 2021 by Artois
	Weekend Fun 9/1/21 (Preview) I was at the checkout at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one thing on the conveyer belt... A box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "looks like we've both bought so...	Leger	2	499	Mon Jan 11 17:06 2021 by Leger
	New year fun (Preview) Hurrah, into a new year that just has to be better than the last one, doesn't it. Anyway, I shall keep the weekend fun going as long as I can, but will apologise in advance if I repeat any that I've previously posted. Breaking Sky News - A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left his entire £12 million for...	Leger	2	460	Sun Jan 3 09:37 2021 by Artois
	Christmas greetings (Preview) It's been a funny old year, and I don't think any of us knew this time last year that 2020 would be plighted by the Covid virus. Hopefully next year will start to see a return to some sort of normality. I wish all of you a lovely Christmas, and are able to make the most of it despite the restrictions.	Leger	3	544	Thu Dec 24 16:29 2020 by Leger
	Friday Fun is back 18-12-20 (Preview) Hi Folks, sorry it's been a while. My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opene...	Leger	5	666	Wed Dec 23 00:00 2020 by Shamus
	Where is the Friday fun.............. (Preview) HI All, Where is the Friday fun then, even though I read them late I really enjoyed reading them! Come on John please post some more. They brightened up my day during these mad times!	Amanda	3	564	Tue Dec 8 22:11 2020 by Amanda
	Hello , i am new here and thank god for this forum :) (Preview) This is the only accounting forum i have found online with some activity . The rest of the accounting forums looks like dead forums . Thanks	Osama79	0	494	Tue Nov 24 20:04 2020 by Osama79
	Weekend Fun 21.9.20 (Preview) I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...	Leger	0	827	Mon Sep 21 22:13 2020 by Leger
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