Introductions and Time Out - The Book-keepers Forum (UK)

Shamus · Shamus

http://www.book-keepers.org.uk/t62264820/site-ethics/

Leger · Leger

I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...

Leger · Leger

A farmer owned a donkey that, since the day it was born, was as miserable as sin. It was always moping around and crying so the farmer issued a country-wide challenge; £10,000 to the man, woman or child that make the donkey laugh!Many came and went, telling the donkey jokes and taking it for days out, but...

Leger · Leger

It's back George & Ken were on police traffic duties when a car passed them and in the passenger seat was a penguin. They followed the car, checking that it was indeed a penguin, pulled the car over and spoke to the driver."Excuse me sir, but we noticed the penguin in your car. Can you please explai...

Anaphase · Anaphase

Hello everyone, I'm Donna and have been lurking around in the shadows for quite some time but have now decided to join the forum. The only bookkeeping experience I have is from over 30 years ago (before computers!) when I was on an adult training scheme and took a module on double-entry bookkeeping an...

Leger · Leger

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as sheused to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.Not quite sure how to approach her, he called thefamily Doctor to discuss the problem.The Doctor told him there is a simple informaltest the husband could perform to give the Doctor abetter idea about...

Leger · Leger

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctors surgery.Why is your stomach so big? he asks.I´m having a baby. she replies.Is the baby in your stomach? he asks, with his big eyes.Yes, it is. she says.Is it a good baby? he asks, with a puzzled look.Oh, yes. A real...

Leger · Leger

Well, Thats me in Hospital This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be a one big mistake!I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then...

Leger · Leger

Yay, it's July, and my first job this morning was to hotfoot it down to the Barbers and get a Grade cut done. Feel loads better now. Playing golf one day I accidentally tipped over my golf buggy..Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and c...

Naj · Naj

Hello everyone, My name is Najat. I am an ACCA member. I have been working in an accountancy practise for the past 5 year. I would like to eventually become self employed. For the mean time, I want to establish a small book keeping business along side my day to day work in the practise. I am hoping that, i...

SamB · SamB

Hi My name is Sam and and I am a newbie to this forum. I work for a small business as an Office Manager and have taken on book-keeping as part of my role! I have been book-keeping for just under 6 months, have no formal qualifications other than being organised!! I am hoping to underpin my learning with...

Leger · Leger

Blimey, half way through the year, which means only 20 sleeps to Christmas if you're an insomniac! Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers plea...

Leger · Leger

Here we go folks I was in a taxi last week and tapped the driver gently on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the taxi, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent. Then, the shaking driver said, "Are y...

Leger · Leger

I've decided to change the title, as I can't remember the last tme I did the fun page on a Friday. Yorkshireman: It's my wife Doctor, I can't seem to get her pregnantDoctor: Has she got the coil in?Man: Has she eckerslike - she's noreven washed spuds yet. -- A man walks into his hotel's liftThe operato...

Leger · Leger

My daft mate Dave has applied to be a detective. At the interview he was asked what 1 + 1 is."Eleven", he replied.The Interviewer thinks to himself, "Thats not what I wanted, but I guess he's right!""What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks."Today and Tomorrow", he replied.The sheri...

Leger · Leger

Was speaking to my mate earlier and was reminded off a couple of jokes. Bloke walks into a chippy and said "I want some f**ing fish and chips. The friar ignores him and the bloke repeats it. The friar looks up, annoyed, and said "Where's your manners young man?" The bloke says "I want some f***ing f...

Cheshire · Cheshire

Seems to be that time! The BKN logo looks like it needs renewing again.

Cheshire · Cheshire

Everytime I click on a post I get an advert popping up, I have to back out and re-click on the forum post. Only happening on ipad at the mo, but increasingly annoying. Anyone else getting this?

Leger · Leger

The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the M4 near Bridgend recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from ve...

Leger · Leger

Sorry folks, but as they say, better late than never. As mentioned last week here is a very similar joke to the secretary joke My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: Before Posting (closed) (Preview) http://www.book-keepers.org.uk/t62264820/site-ethics/	Shamus	0	4801	Sat Jun 11 15:06 2016 by Shamus
	Weekend Fun 21.9.20 (Preview) I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...	Leger	0	125	Mon Sep 21 22:13 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 13.9.20 (Preview) A farmer owned a donkey that, since the day it was born, was as miserable as sin. It was always moping around and crying so the farmer issued a country-wide challenge; £10,000 to the man, woman or child that make the donkey laugh!Many came and went, telling the donkey jokes and taking it for days out, but...	Leger	3	486	Fri Sep 18 11:47 2020 by Rhianrach
	Weekend Fun (Preview) It's back George & Ken were on police traffic duties when a car passed them and in the passenger seat was a penguin. They followed the car, checking that it was indeed a penguin, pulled the car over and spoke to the driver."Excuse me sir, but we noticed the penguin in your car. Can you please explai...	Leger	7	559	Thu Sep 10 13:00 2020 by Amanda
	Hello, total newbie (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm Donna and have been lurking around in the shadows for quite some time but have now decided to join the forum. The only bookkeeping experience I have is from over 30 years ago (before computers!) when I was on an adult training scheme and took a module on double-entry bookkeeping an...	Anaphase	2	386	Tue Sep 8 20:48 2020 by Brian McVean
	Weekend Fun 9.8.20 (Preview) A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as sheused to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.Not quite sure how to approach her, he called thefamily Doctor to discuss the problem.The Doctor told him there is a simple informaltest the husband could perform to give the Doctor abetter idea about...	Leger	5	657	Tue Aug 25 16:18 2020 by Amanda
	Weekend Fun 2.8.20 (Preview) A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctors surgery.Why is your stomach so big? he asks.I´m having a baby. she replies.Is the baby in your stomach? he asks, with his big eyes.Yes, it is. she says.Is it a good baby? he asks, with a puzzled look.Oh, yes. A real...	Leger	2	436	Mon Aug 3 16:48 2020 by Artois
	Weekend Fun 12.7.20 (Preview) Well, Thats me in Hospital This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be a one big mistake!I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then...	Leger	2	530	Mon Jul 13 10:41 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 4.7.20 (Preview) Yay, it's July, and my first job this morning was to hotfoot it down to the Barbers and get a Grade cut done. Feel loads better now. Playing golf one day I accidentally tipped over my golf buggy..Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and c...	Leger	5	602	Mon Jul 6 18:43 2020 by Leger
	Hello everyone (Preview) Hello everyone, My name is Najat. I am an ACCA member. I have been working in an accountancy practise for the past 5 year. I would like to eventually become self employed. For the mean time, I want to establish a small book keeping business along side my day to day work in the practise. I am hoping that, i...	Naj	6	663	Tue Jun 30 21:28 2020 by Naj
	Hello! (Preview) Hi My name is Sam and and I am a newbie to this forum. I work for a small business as an Office Manager and have taken on book-keeping as part of my role! I have been book-keeping for just under 6 months, have no formal qualifications other than being organised!! I am hoping to underpin my learning with...	SamB	5	652	Tue Jun 30 12:52 2020 by Rachel19
	Weekend Fun 27.6.20 (Preview) Blimey, half way through the year, which means only 20 sleeps to Christmas if you're an insomniac! Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers plea...	Leger	0	368	Sat Jun 27 15:20 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 20.6.20 (Preview) Here we go folks I was in a taxi last week and tapped the driver gently on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the taxi, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent. Then, the shaking driver said, "Are y...	Leger	3	570	Mon Jun 22 12:02 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 7.6.20 (Preview) I've decided to change the title, as I can't remember the last tme I did the fun page on a Friday. Yorkshireman: It's my wife Doctor, I can't seem to get her pregnantDoctor: Has she got the coil in?Man: Has she eckerslike - she's noreven washed spuds yet. -- A man walks into his hotel's liftThe operato...	Leger	8	734	Tue Jun 16 19:52 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 13.6.20 (Preview) My daft mate Dave has applied to be a detective. At the interview he was asked what 1 + 1 is."Eleven", he replied.The Interviewer thinks to himself, "Thats not what I wanted, but I guess he's right!""What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks."Today and Tomorrow", he replied.The sheri...	Leger	2	467	Tue Jun 16 09:58 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 29.5.20 (Preview) Was speaking to my mate earlier and was reminded off a couple of jokes. Bloke walks into a chippy and said "I want some fing fish and chips. The friar ignores him and the bloke repeats it. The friar looks up, annoyed, and said "Where's your manners young man?" The bloke says "I want some f*ing f...	Leger	6	703	Thu Jun 4 09:48 2020 by Casu
	BKN forum image - issue (Preview) Seems to be that time! The BKN logo looks like it needs renewing again.	Cheshire	8	843	Tue Jun 2 08:41 2020 by Cheshire
	Really annoying advertising (Preview) Everytime I click on a post I get an advert popping up, I have to back out and re-click on the forum post. Only happening on ipad at the mo, but increasingly annoying. Anyone else getting this?	Cheshire	4	556	Wed May 27 13:05 2020 by Leger
	Bank Holiday Fun 26.5.20 (Preview) The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the M4 near Bridgend recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from ve...	Leger	2	491	Tue May 26 10:54 2020 by Leger
	Friday Fun 15.5.20 (Preview) Sorry folks, but as they say, better late than never. As mentioned last week here is a very similar joke to the secretary joke My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!...	Leger	7	755	Thu May 21 15:03 2020 by VinceH
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