The Book-keepers Forum (BKF)

Post Info TOPIC: Weekend Fun 9.8.20


Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 3579
Date:
Weekend Fun 9.8.20


A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she
used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the
family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal
test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a
better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about
40 feet away from her, and in a normal
conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until
you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking
dinner,and he was in the den. He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for
dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about
30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is
about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's
for dinner?"


Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet
away. "Honey,what's for dinner?" Again there is no
response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
dinner?"

"Ralph , for the FIFTH time, it's CHICKEN!"

--

A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.

He says, "This is Amanda."

His dad jumps up. "It's a bloody what?"

--

Polish guy went for his eyes tested and the optician held a board up with the letters, XZYCXZY

"can you see that" said the optician?,

"see it!,i feckin know him!"

--

My mate was taking the p1ss out of me for believing anything he told me and said if I looked in the dictionary under gullible there'd be a picture of me,

He's not such a clever dickas I checked and there wasn't.

--

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
and MOST important...

4. It is important that these three women never meet.

--

I almost caught someone with my missus last night, but he dived out the window as I burst into the bedroom, so I chased after him.

"He went that way," said my mate Dave, pointing to next door's garden.

"Cheers, mate," I replied, scaling the fence. "And get some clothes on, you'll catch your death."




__________________

John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1107
Date:


Thanks John



__________________

Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Expert

Status: Offline
Posts: 1607
Date:

Ha I love weekend fun :)

__________________
Steve


Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 3579
Date:

Thanks Steve. I'm taking a short break from Weekend Fun, as I have just taken on new premises, so these next few days I'll be clearing the old office.

It will be back though on 29/30th August.



__________________

John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Expert

Status: Offline
Posts: 1607
Date:

I am looking forward to it.

__________________
Steve


Expert

Status: Offline
Posts: 1961
Date:

I'm a bit late joining this one, but very good John!

__________________

Amanda

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  

2007-2019 The Book-keepers Forum (BKF). All Rights Reserved. The Book-keepers Forum (BKF) is a trading division of Bookcert Ltd. Registered in England Company Number 05782923. 2 Laurel House, 1 Station Rd, Worle, Weston-super-Mare, North Somerset, BS22 6AR, United Kingdom. The Book-keepers Forum and BKF are trademarks of Bookcert Ltd. This forum is a discussion forum only. There will usually be more than one opinion to any question and any posting should not be viewed as a definitive solution. No responsibility for loss occasioned to any person acting or refraining from action as a result of any posting on this site is accepted by the contributors or The Book-keepers Forum. In all cases, appropriate professional advice should be sought before making a decision. We reserve the right to remove any postings which are offensive, libellous, self-promoting or engaged in covert marketing. We will not notify users of removals. The views expressed in the forum posts are those of the individual and do not necessary reflect or agree with those of The Book-keepers Forum. Any offensive or unsuitable posts will be removed by the moderators. Any reader of this forum can request for a post to be looked into by sending an email to: info@bookcert.co.uk.

Privacy & Cookie Policy  About