The Book-keepers Forum (BKF)

Post Info TOPIC: Friday Fun 15.5.20


Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 3593
Date:
Friday Fun 15.5.20


Sorry folks, but as they say, better late than never. As mentioned last week here is a very similar joke to the secretary joke

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that was her younger sister. She was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly flirt and make suggestive comments to me. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. I jumped up off the sofa and bolted outside towards the car. Outside were my future in laws and my girlfriend all clapping and cheering. With tears in his eyes my future FIL hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family".

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

--

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed
--
I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off.
--
The Grand Old Duke of York was a manic depressive. When he was up, he was up...
--
Teacher: = If I gave you 2 plus another 2 cats and then another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: = Seven, Sir.

Teacher: = No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: = Seven, Sir.

Teacher: = Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?

Johnny: = Six.

Teacher: = Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?

Johnny: = Seven!!! SIR!

A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?

Johnny: Because I've already got a cat Sir!


-- Edited by Leger on Tuesday 19th of May 2020 01:09:48 AM

__________________

John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 8646
Date:

Thank you as ever John.

Cheered me up on a depressing morning, waiting for plumber to sort out a leak on the heating system.

That teacher was a bit thick! nobiggrin



__________________

Joanne

Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1115
Date:

Due to Covid-19 my Eastern European mail order bride has been delayed, the agency have given me a discount and advised that the Czech is in the post.

I have just rung the Fruit Machine Addiction hotline and they have told me to hold.



__________________

Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 47
Date:

John I just loved the thesaurus joke and Doug love the picture



-- Edited by Riel on Tuesday 19th of May 2020 12:14:23 PM

__________________
Riel


Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 8646
Date:

Thought this might provide a smirk or two

www.youtube.com/watch

__________________

Joanne

Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1115
Date:

Cheshire wrote:

Thought this might provide a smirk or two

www.youtube.com/watch


Pretty much the samebiggrin



__________________

Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Master Book-keeper

Status: Offline
Posts: 3593
Date:

Cheshire wrote:

Thought this might provide a smirk or two

www.youtube.com/watch


Definitely had a giggle at that. Loved the Peston bit.



__________________

John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Expert

Status: Offline
Posts: 1795
Date:

Thought this might provide a smirk or two



__________________

Vince M Hudd - Soft Rock Software

(I only came here looking for fellow apiarists...)

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  

2007-2019 The Book-keepers Forum (BKF). All Rights Reserved. The Book-keepers Forum (BKF) is a trading division of Bookcert Ltd. Registered in England Company Number 05782923. 2 Laurel House, 1 Station Rd, Worle, Weston-super-Mare, North Somerset, BS22 6AR, United Kingdom. The Book-keepers Forum and BKF are trademarks of Bookcert Ltd. This forum is a discussion forum only. There will usually be more than one opinion to any question and any posting should not be viewed as a definitive solution. No responsibility for loss occasioned to any person acting or refraining from action as a result of any posting on this site is accepted by the contributors or The Book-keepers Forum. In all cases, appropriate professional advice should be sought before making a decision. We reserve the right to remove any postings which are offensive, libellous, self-promoting or engaged in covert marketing. We will not notify users of removals. The views expressed in the forum posts are those of the individual and do not necessary reflect or agree with those of The Book-keepers Forum. Any offensive or unsuitable posts will be removed by the moderators. Any reader of this forum can request for a post to be looked into by sending an email to: info@bookcert.co.uk.

Privacy & Cookie Policy  About