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Post Info TOPIC: Friday Fun 24.4.20


Master Book-keeper

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Friday Fun 24.4.20


Sorry folks, I had planned to do a special over the weekend but just didn't allocate the time I needed, sorry.

So a normal one this week and I'll try and do the special one on Friday (if it works).

--

It's my daft mate Dave's first day working in the local zoo.  The Zookeeper said to him "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with her. Would you consider doing  it for £500 pounds?".

Dave replied, "I will on 3 conditions:

1.  I'm not going to kiss her

2.  My family must never know.

3.  I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together

 

--

He's just been through the divorce court.  The Judge said to him that his wife had been awarded £360 a week settlement.  "That's very good of you your honour.  On the weeks I'm feeling flush I'll try and send her some as well".

--

I've just found out today that Danny Welbeck's dad, Stan, is a bomb disposal expert.

--

That's it, I've had enough.  My wife has just accused me of being a transvestite.  As soon as I've packed her clothes, I'm leaving.

--

When the pubs were open it would take me 10 minutes to get there, but it would take me 40 minutes to get back.  The difference was staggering.

--

I've just lost my job as a taxi driver Passengers have been complaining because I went the extra mile

--

My grand parents are called Pearl and Dean, or as I  like to call them Grandma and Grand Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Paaa....Pa!

--

 



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John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Master Book-keeper

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Made me giggle, as usual.

I think the ManU connection one depends on accent used wink

Ive seen a few funny pics, although not saved them, apart from:-

FUNNYAS.jpg

Oh and this one

Chor.jpg

Sorry Jen

Jen.jpg

 

 



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 Joanne  

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and by that I dont mean with HMRC)



Guru

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Very good John & Joanne biggrin, I will try and add some later



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Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Master Book-keeper

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Staying on the American theme (which wasnt intentional).

www.youtube.com/watch

'I know words'......just a pile of made up ones.

And you think our lot are barking!



-- Edited by Cheshire on Tuesday 28th of April 2020 10:35:58 AM

__________________

 Joanne  

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and by that I dont mean with HMRC)



Guru

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Posts: 1058
Date:

 

I remember my Grandfather telling me he saw the Titanic and tried to warn people it would sink. Nobody listened, he warned them again and again but alas still no-one listened. In the end they through him out of the cinema. 



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Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Master Book-keeper

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LOL Joanne and Doug.

Two village idiots went to see a Western.  Bill says to Ben, "I bet you a tenner this bloke falls off his horse in the next minute".  "You're on" said Ben.  Sure enough the bloke falls off his horse.  Ben said "Well I never, I saw this film last week and he fell off his horse then, I didn't think he'd be daft enough to do it again". 



__________________

John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.

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