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Post Info TOPIC: Friday Fun 14.1.20


Master Book-keeper

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Date:
Friday Fun 14.1.20


There's not many Valentine jokes about, but I've just seen this one which made me smile.

 

My girlfriend texted me this morning saying "Happy Valentines Day xxxxx"

I texted back.  "Happy Valentines day to you as well"

She texted "You haven't put any x's on so I replied "Sorry, happy Valentines Day, Sarah, Jill, Ruby, Sharon and Melanie as well"

--

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

--

My thick mate thought his new girlfriend might be the one

But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit,

A French maids outfit, and a policewoman's uniform, he said "If she can't hold down a job she's not for me"

--

--He was doing some roofing work the other day

He neared the top of the ladder and starts shaking
and going dizzy.
He called down to his boss and says "I think I will have
to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
His boss asked "Ave yer got vertigo?"
"No" he replied "No I only live round the corner."

--

I locked eyes with an incredibly sexy Thai girl when I was on holiday. I kept on saying to myself, "Don't get an erection, Don't get an erection."

But she did.

--

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said 'Son we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job.There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son where are you going?'
Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!

And as it's Valentines day.....

 



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John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Guru

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Posts: 967
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A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors, each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks, when asked about this he replied miserably "my wife missed the bus"



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Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice



Master Book-keeper

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Posts: 8295
Date:

biggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Im a bit late, but had to fight my way through the bag loads of cards to get back to my PC! (ok, one!)

These made me chuckle though

2020.jpg

2020 dead.jpg

 

 



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 Joanne  

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and my that I dont mean with HMRC)



Master Book-keeper

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hahahahaha.  I once bought my wife an ironing board for Christmas. To say it didn't go down well is an understatement.

 

Doug, I felt the same when I discovered there was no expiry date on the marriage certificate.



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John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Master Book-keeper

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Surprised it wasn't wrapped round your head John.

__________________

 Joanne  

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and my that I dont mean with HMRC)



Master Book-keeper

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Posts: 3274
Date:

Hi Joanne

It was a bit stupid I agree but at the time she needed an ironing board and it was Christmas so I just combined the two.  



__________________

John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



Master Book-keeper

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Posts: 8295
Date:

These days I would prefer a practical present than a frivolous waste of money one. When I say frivolous Im excluding holidays, fast cars, diamonds and such. biggrinbiggrin

As long as you didnt also propose and present the engagement ring on Christmas Day!!!!!!!!  wink



__________________

 Joanne  

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and my that I dont mean with HMRC)

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