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Post Info TOPIC: Friday Fun 24.1.20


Master Book-keeper

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Friday Fun 24.1.20


Yay, on time

Been thinking, would people prefer just one thread, updated on a weekly basis, or a separate thread each week?

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican to see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Holiness, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they begin chanting... "Dopey sh*gged a penguin!" "Dopey sh*gged a penguin!"................

A woman's dog is drowning in the sea. A passing German dwarf dives in, pulls out the dog, resuscitates it & saves its life. "Are you a little vet?" asked the woman.
"A little Vet?" said the German dwarf,
"I'm soaked!"

I said to my missus,"why do you have that great big handbag when there's hardly anything in it"
she replied,"well you wear underpants!!!!!!!"

A bloke walks into a newsagents and says to the big busted assistant "Can I have 20 filter tits please love?" She gives him a dirty look and he says "Oh I'm so sorry, I meant 20 filter tips" and rushed out of the shop, extremely embarrassed. He says to his mate "that was embarrassing, I just asked that girl for filter tits instead of filter tips." "Oh don't worry about that", says his mate, "that's called sublimation, it's when you inadvertently say something your thinking but don't want to say

Actually the very same thing happened to me this morning, I came and sat down to breakfast and I meant to say to the wife 'Could you pass me the milk please darling' but it came out as 'You fat ugly cow, you've ruined my life'."

My new Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out.



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John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



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Riel



Master Book-keeper

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My vote - new thread each week. Scrolling finger is worn out!

Why is the best one in such small print?! lol

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Joanne

Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.

You should check out answers with reference to the legal position (and my that I dont mean with HMRC)



Master Book-keeper

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Cheshire wrote:

My vote - new thread each week. Scrolling finger is worn out!

Why is the best one in such small print?! lol


I've absolutely no idea Joanne. Just tried to amend it to the same size as the others but when I submit it again nothings changed.

I first heard that joke many years ago but I'd totally forgotten it until I read it again the other day. It's brilliant.



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John

Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.



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Leger wrote:
Cheshire wrote:

My vote - new thread each week. Scrolling finger is worn out!

Why is the best one in such small print?! lol


I've absolutely no idea Joanne. Just tried to amend it to the same size as the others but when I submit it again nothings changed.


Great Johnbiggrinbiggrin

I thought I was at the opticians for a minute with the writing getting smaller and smaller!

I love the penguin one!!!



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Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice

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